On Dropping

Yesterday I dropped out at mile 58 of the Thames Path 100 mile run. I've had had a day to reflect on why I dropped out and here are my thoughts thus far...

I started the day feeling pretty good. I'd slept poorly the night before due to nerves, but that is nothing new to most people. My training since the South Downs Way 50 miler 4 weeks earlier had been okay. I've found it hard to get the motivation up to get out the door and everything was feeling really mechanical.  But no injuries or anything coming into the race.  The weather was just about damned perfect with blue skies and 16 degrees predicted. So everything was looking up from the start.

Also I had the lovely Julie to keep me company at various points throughout the day.  She was the best crew I could ask for, always cheery and ready to help with food, water, salt or hugs.  I especially liked the hugs :) 

The first 11 miles was fairly breezy, with no issues and reasonably high spirits.  On reflection I didn't really feel "in the zone" at all, which should have been a sign that I wasn't mentally in the game. Also, I didn't really feel like talking to people, which is odd as ultras are all about the social connection and the chatting to people as you go.  But things were still looking pretty good.

By aid station 2 at 22 miles I was starting to feel a bit rough.  This isn't entirely unexpected as I always feel a bit of a hump at the 20 mile mark, which coincides with the hard part of a marathon.  It was here that I had an inkling that it was going to be a challenging day.

Beautiful scenery all along the Thames Path

Moving on through the aid stations I was feeling worse and worse. Nothing catastrophic like a ruptured tendon, but a general all-body ache that by about mile 40, made any type of running to be a challenge.  No hills, no excuse to walk, but I just couldn't motivate my legs to keep any type of pace. It was something I couldn't quite understand and the walking bugged me more than it should have.  It made me think of the run not taking 18 hours, but 20, 24 or worse.

By mile 51 I was pretty darn tired and not in a happy place.  But here I had my secret weapon in the form of Raf, my pacer for the next 20 miles.  I was hoping this would keep me focused and motivated to just make it through to mile 70.  From there it would just be little more than a marathon to get to the finish.  Nothing really!

It is all in the mind...

Sadly I just lost it around here and couldn't carry on.  Sure there were physical aspects (which I'll mention later) but ultimately I couldn't bare to consider being out for another 10, 12, 14+ hours for the final 42 miles. Something in my head just went "this isn't worth it" and from that point it was a losing battle. What I realise now is that I didn't have the mental framework to carry on through suffering for the rest of the race.

So I dropped at the aid station at mile 58. Very disappointing, not the least for poor Raf who only got to run 7 of his 19 miles.  He was awesome about everything, but I could tell he was frustrated.

On a side note, the aid station at mile 58 had a special vegan treats table.  There were all sorts of vegan goodies such as vegan jelly beans, pumpkin hummus, vegan wraps, soup.  I thought this was brilliant and I made sure to have my fair share while waiting for Julie to come pick me up.  A silver lining in an otherwise dark cloud :)

Coming into Henley at mile 51

Dropping...

What this has helped me realise is whereas some people have an innate ability to push on, I always hold a little back, afraid of feeling too much pain and suffering. My experience with really long runs is limited, with my 3 longest being - my 5 hour 52k training run, the SDW50 and now the TP100. In these I've not properly learnt the trick of letting the physical pain go and to just keep pressing on, one step at a time. This, more than anything, is the aspect I need to address if I decide to take on another 100 miler. Thinking about it, it is probably limiting my potential at all distances from 5k upwards.  If I'm holding something back to protect myself, I'll never break through that self imposed barrier and see what I'm truly capable of.

On the physical side, it was a rough day, but nothing game wrecking. My shoes weren't cut out for the terrain and gave me blisters (which didn't show on my 30k long run). My hip gave me some issues, but is fine today.  My left knee is very painful today, as is my left foot. Likely an imbalance related to the underdeveloped medial glute the physio gave me exercises to strengthen a couple of weeks ago. But again, nothing that would have stopped me carrying on.

On somewhat weird physical issue was I was getting really bad shivers at the aid station at mile 51. They were seriously wracking my body and I needed an emergency blanked to keep me warm enough to sit and eat some food. It was like hypothermia, but it wasn't actually that cold. I had the same issue after my first marathon, but hasn't bothered me since until now. I will have to do some further research on this one.

Today I think to myself "only 42 miles to go, you had time to walk it all!" while last night I couldn't even think of walking all that way. So disappointment is mixed in with everything, but I know at the time it was all I could give (mentally in any case) on the day.

South Downs Way 50

Yesterday I finished my first proper ultra run, the South Downs Way 50 mile run from Centurion Running. Here I sit, a day after the race and it still hasn't quite sunk in yet.  Overall the race went pretty well, but it is hard to put the 8 hours and 49 minutes of hills, clouds and English countryside into words.

At the start - check out the cheeky bugger in the background!

What went well:

1. Stayed hydrated
2. Nutrition was fine with no stomach issues
3. Feet had zero blisters!  I highly recommend pre-taping your feet and finding the right shoes
4. Found a special "uphill" gear to my running which let me run past a lot of people
5. Didn't fall over

6. Beat my target time, yay!

7. The weather was damn near perfect
8. Having a crew was awesome. It a great pick-me-up to see Julie and to have goodies delivered throughout the race. Made a big difference

9. The race was super well organised and had marvellous volunteers
10. There were plenty of food options for vegans at the aid stations. Never went hungy!

What went less-than-well:

1. My hydration pack rubbed against my back and caused a lot of chaffing.  Never run with it for so long with all the mandatory kit before. Lesson learnt.

Wooo, finished!

2. I had a few mental lows, especially around 2/3rds of the way. Mostly brought about by pure fatigue I think.  Coming out of the mile 42 aid station I felt great after some food and salt tabs.
3. Still not great with hills. I feel if I can get strong with them, I will save *a lot* off my overall time.

I will admit that straight afterwards I was questioning my ability to do a 100 mile run next month!

The Verdict:

The South Downs Way 50 is a brilliantly run and organised race. If you are considering your first 50 mile ultra, you would do well to consider this race. The runners are friendly, the volunteers amazing, the food at the aid stations was varied and yummy. 

Go on, sign up for 2015, you know you want to :)

Here is the Strava breakdown of the race http://app.strava.com/activities/127233674 if you are curious.

The Long Run

[Apologies for not posting for a while, I've been doing fairly boring training over the winter and only just now coming onto my big races]

Only partly true...

I have my first "proper" ultra coming up in less than two weeks, the South Downs Way (SDW) 50 mile run. I say "proper" because I technically did an ultra a few weeks ago at the 45km long Six Foot Track Marathon.  But that was barely longer than a marathon and doesn't count. To me anyway.

To prepare for the SDW50, my coach gave me a challenge for last weekend of running 5 hours on Saturday and 2 hours on Sunday.

Eek!

Well, as you have likely already worked out, I survived.

The past two days were a great learning experience for me.  I gained insight into the value of mental focus, nutrition, recovery and correct pacing.

Saturday - ran at roughly 5:30-5:50/km for 2.5 hours along the canals and then turned around to come back. In this time I covered a little over 26km and was feeling great at the turnaround.  I passed the marathon mark at 3:59:04 - which is not bad for a training run! At about 44km the wheels started to come off though. I was hurting (nothing specific, just normal body stuff) and I lost my focus.  At 48km I gave up running and walked for about 1.5 kms. However as I was starting to get cold I managed to put my head down and run in the remaining 3km.

I was also feeling a bit sick of the gels - I don't think they work for me past about 4 hours. 

Afterwards, my feet had a few small blisters, but nothing exciting. I guess my pre-taping was successful on the whole.  My legs were really tired and I was hobbling around the house somewhat on the Saturday evening. I made sure to get lots of high quality food into me and to avoid sitting (I'd seize up and standing up straight took me 5 minutes).  Following some sage advice, I went to bed at 9pm to heal up.

Sunday - woke up feeling pretty decent all said. Still quite creaky, especially in my left hip socket and lower back. Maybe 1.5 or 2/10 on the pain scale though, not too bad all said.  After a morning slothing around the house I made it out for a 18km run at 5:15/km pace.  Started off at 5:45/km, but by the time I warmed up again I was down to 5:00/km flat for the last few kms.  I forgot I was supposed to do the fast finish (how convenient!) for the run.  Not sure I would have had a 4:20/km 5k in me though.  Not without someone yelling at me anyway :)

So this weekend I learnt that:

1. If your mind gives up you are screwed.  But don't worry, just walk it off and things can come good.
2. I should try more real food on longer runs. I could pack sandwiches or bagels without too much hassle.
3. 5:30/km is my "ultra cruise" pace on flat.  Takes a long time to get anywhere at that speed though!
4. Lots of sleep and healthy food makes for a good recovery.  Especially the sleep.

All said and done, the weekend wasn't 100% successful as I didn't do the fast finish run.  But I certainly learnt quite a bit about myself!